Missing Home

I have to say it. I miss Maryland. :( I have been so busy down here in SC that I hadn't really had time to process all the changes. Now my house is unpacked, I'm in the swing of work, and routine is setting in. Now that I have some down time, I'm realizing how much I miss Maryland and the life I had there. I had an awesome group of friends, a cute little house, a fantastic roommate, and endless choices of how to spend my evening living in such a populated area. I could go to DC on a whim, check out a great coffee shop in Annapolis, go out with friends on the water, head up to the lake in PA....endless. I am really going to miss it this fall...I LOVE the fall up north! It's so fun to hop in your car and go for a drive and happen upon a stand where you can buy pumpkins and fresh cider. Last year I went on a 5 hour trip to only end up back in my driveway :) I drove up to my old hometown in PA and drove and drove and drove on the back country roads, and just breathed in the fresh air and soaked in the beautiful scenery. I love being bundled up on a cool, crisp night and smelling the fall air. Of course, I miss the lake. There's a place at the lake that I always go when I have to make a big decision or just need to clear my head and think. I really miss that spot. I'm convinced there's no place quite as beautiful as my hometown in PA.

My friend Tammy came down to visit me this weekend, and we were talking about old times and what we used to do...it just really hit me that I have moved on. I just up and left the 3 hour radius that I have lived my whole life. I always thought it would be fun, and it is....there is something really great about starting new somewhere and getting to know an entirely new group of people in an entirely new setting and new pace of life. And as much as I'd like to say it's all pure adventure and new opportunities, there's a part of me that is grieving what I left behind. There's something to be said about hopping in your car and knowing that special place to drive when you're stressed out. It's great knowing which mechanic won't rip you off, and which neighborhood has the best Christmas lights display at Christmastime. It's fun being able to go to the little corner shop that you remember going to when you were a little kid or running into old friends at the store because you have always lived in the same general area.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy in Greenville :) I don't yet feel like I'm at home yet, but that's not too surprising considering I've only been here six weeks. I have met some great new friends and gotten closer to friends that I have known for a long time but never lived near. If you consider that home is where your friends and family are (thus, where your heart is), than I am home. There is just a part of me that is missing the past ....I tried to ignore it for a little while because I thought that it would mean I wasn't grateful or appreciative, or embracing this wonderful time of change in my life. I think what I'm feeling is a normal human reaction to great change. I have changed jobs, churches, homes, states, left behind friends and family .... I think I just need to allow myself to be sad and get it over with.

I'm excited to see what God is going to do with me here in Greenville. I don't know if this is where He wants me for a year, 10 years, or a lifetime. But my comfort is found in knowing that God ordered my steps and brought me here, and because of that, I know great things are in store for my future. I recognize and accept that it will not always be easy, for in hard times it is often that we grow the most and learn to trust in God more. It is such a comfort to know that God is always there, no matter where we are. Maybe I should pray He will start directing me to new things that couldn't replace the old things, but enrich my life here and help me grow to love SC as much, if not more, than I did Maryland.

:) God is good.